The Power of Listening for Healing!
By this time next week, the elections will likely be over. No matter who wins or loses there will be a need for healing across our country. Regardless of what happens at a national level, we are called as followers of Christ to be agents of healing here locally in our church and our community. I have thought long and hard about how to best be agents of healing with one another and with our neighbors. To be sure, there is the power of prayer. We should all be praying for healing locally and nationally. Specifically, our prayers, in my judgement, should seek to lift up and find ways we can break down existing barriers and walls and replace them with bridges that bring us together and bind the wounds which all too often appear to deeply separate and even alienate us. Obviously a humble, loving spirit will make such prayer far more effective and impactful.
But what are we to do as we interact with one another when differing views have too often resulted in walls and the application of labels, differing camps and sadly judgements about one another. I have been wrestling with this for quite some time. It seems to me the answer for healing lies in our willingness to listen to one another. The challenge of course is that this is far easier to say then to put into practice. The painful truth is that we are not very good listeners.
The late Bill Gove, who was the salesman credited with making Scotch tape and 3M household names and would later become the acclaimed and revered “father” of modern professional speaking, loved to tell the story of a sales training event which focused on listening, perhaps the most powerful tool in a truly professional salesperson’s repertoire. This is how the story goes: Bill was paired up with another salesperson and it was Bill’s turn to tell his story and for the other person to listen. Bill (who had a great sense of humor) preceded to tell him that he was a bomber pilot in World War Two. Intrigued the listening salesman said, “Tell me more.” Bill preceded to say, “I knocked out two bridges and an ammo dump and then they sent me overseas to Europe. The “listening” partner’s response was, “That's a wonderful war record Bill! You must be very proud!” As you might guess, Bill would get a great laugh from the audience. But he would use this to lift up a very important point: how even when we are supposed to be listening, we really do not listen. His “listening” partner heard what he wanted to hear which of course was off target. Perhaps he was more interested in getting his turn to talk. Both sabotage effective and healing listening.
Listening is so important and potentially so powerfully significant in the healing process because each of us has a deep and powerful need to be heard and understood. I do not think it is accidental that in Saint Francis powerful prayer he asks God for the grace to first seek to understand rather than to be understood. That is what true and effective listening does – it seeks first to hear and understand.
When we seek to understand our focus is not on trying to fix, correct, advise, criticize, argue or prove a point (which typically means our idea is right and the other person's idea is wrong or defective). When we listen to understand our focus is on empathetically hearing what the other person has to say. Or in other words to put ourselves in their shoes. Make no mistake, this is hard and demanding work.
However, I am convinced we will never breakdown walls that separate us by proving we're right and the other person or other side is wrong. I'm also convinced that when we embark on the difficult but very doable process of listening, we will discover that we have far more in common than we would imagine. When we do this, we will start the process of building bridges instead of walls. Healing, reconciliation, cooperation and a brighter future will be the fruits of such listening.
Grace and Peace, John
A Brief Zoom Congregational Meeting Sunday November 8th
Following our virtual service next Sunday, we will have a brief congregational meeting via Zoom to elect a Nominating Committee. You do not need to do anything special except to stay connected following our service. All church members have a vote. Our fellowship time will follow this brief meeting.
Our Sweatshirt Outreach Ministry is Here!
The time of year when we make sure every child at Manatee Elementary School has a sweatshirt for the colder winter months is here. The school has shared with me they need 520 sweatshirts this year. This an increase over last year but not surprising. I will be placing our order by this week because I have complete trust in your faithfulness and generosity. Once again, the price per sweatshirt will be $8. I invite you to join Cinda and me in “buying” 1 or more sweatshirts in honor of grandchildren or other family members.
Because of you, children, who easily slip through the cracks, are not only warm and comfortable, they are also in a better position to learn. And there is also the joy the staff feels being able to give these kids they love and care about, the sweatshirts that make such a difference.