Words Have a Big Impact – Choose Them Wisely!
One of the most destructive and hurtful lies ever told is the simple rhyme I suspect all of us heard as children growing up, “Sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me”. Anybody who has ever broken a bone knows that in time they heal and typically the place of the break heels stronger then before. Names, however, can have a lasting negative impact. There are far too many people who carry around in their hearts and minds names like fool, idiot, failure, and more that rob them of joy and zest in life.
But it is more than just names – its our words as well. Our words can build somebody up or tear them down, give them hope or leave them in despair, imprison them in guilt and shame or liberate them to a new future. Words are just that powerful. Once spoken they can never be taken back. We can apologize and perhaps limit the damage but sometimes we cannot. Our words make a big difference.
Perhaps you are thinking at this moment of another common phrase we use, “talk is cheap”. Talk can indeed be very cheap when our actions betray our words. I suspect all of us have sadly heard somebody say, “I’ll pray for you” or “I’ll keep you in my thoughts and prayers” and you know deep in your spirit they will not! Their words are just an easy way to get out of an uncomfortable situation.
Talk can be cheap, but it can also be very costly. Words of criticism, guilt, condemnation, name calling, and labels (such as dumb, lazy, inferior, emotional, fragile, helpless, weak, gullible, thoughtless, etc.) often have a way of cutting right to our hearts and leaving deep wounds that can redirect and reshape our lives – for the worse.
It can also be priceless. Several years ago, when I was attending my 50th high school reunion, a classmate came up to me without a name tag and introduced himself (because all of us looked a bit different 50 years later!). His first words after sharing his name were, “Will you forgive me for the beer can prank on your parents’ front lawn.?”. The most important thing for him to hear from me were the words, “I forgive you”. For the better part of 50 years the guilt and shame of what he had done haunted him at some level. Perhaps he hadn’t consciously thought about it at all over those 50 years. But when he saw me (not even knowing I was a preacher) the first thing he wanted to hear was a word of forgiveness. Of course, I said I had long ago forgiven him and was glad to say to his face, “I forgive you”. You could see the burden lifted from his countenance and we had a wonderful conversation – one of the best of that reunion. I hope to see him at a 60th! Words of hope, love, grace, forgiveness, kindness, gratitude and more can in fact be priceless gifts to another (and to us).
There are also words that we would be well-served to eliminate from our thinking and our vocabulary. They hinder our spiritual growth and interfere with experiencing the power of belief and growing in our faith. These include, “can’t, try or tried, if only, good enough, and yes but. I’ll share more about these in the near future.
Grace and Peace, John