Words Have a Big Impact – Lose These Quickly!
Last week I shared several words or phrases that would be good for us to eliminate from our vocabulary. These are words often used; however, their impact can rob us of joy, peace, love, and hope. They may seem harmless, but they are not. Typically, they lead us down the path of denial, frustration, hopelessness or other negative dead ends in life.
The words and phrases I am referring too might at first surprise you or even cause you to be a bit defensive. That’s okay. I can make the case for their elimination from our thoughts and vocabularies because they hinder our spiritual growth and interfere with experiencing the power of belief and growing in our faith.
Here are the words and phrases I am talking about: “can’t, try or tried, if only, good enough, should have, and yes but. Let me take them one at a time.
I saved the worst for first! Whenever we say I can’t, or we can’t we are taking the role of a victim and we are deceiving ourselves. As followers of Jesus Christ, we are not victims, no matter what life may bring. In Paul’s words, we are more that conquers (victors) through Christ who loves us. He also reminds us that we can do all things through Christ who strengthens us. Whenever we use the word can’t we are in effect saying the only power available to us is our own. This is simply not true – ever! On yet another level we are being dishonest with ourselves. Perhaps as much as 99% of the time we use the word can’t when we ought to be saying, “won’t (or will not)”. Instead of “I can’t do this” we would be more honest with ourselves if we said, “I won’t do this”. When we say, “I will not or I won’t”, we are taking responsibility and that is always a good thing in terms of faith and growth, even if it makes us feel uncomfortable.
The second is almost as bad as the first – try or tried. I was sharing something with a mentor many years ago, saying I had tried to do something. She stopped me dead in my tracks when she said, “Try is just a nice excuse to justify failing”. WOW! She sure got my attention. She went on to say Jesus never called the disciples saying, “Try to follow me” or to the forgiven adulterous woman, “try to go and sin no more” or in the Lord’s Prayer, “forgive us our debts as we try to forgive our debtors”. Perhaps the clincher was when she said, “I don’t often to use Yoda from Star Wars for expressions of theological reality, but he was right when he said, “no try, do or do not”. The more I thought about her words the more I realized just how true they were. How often do we settle for a feeble, powerless faith because all we are doing is “trying” to pray or forgive or read the bible! “Try” is the enemy of commitment. And commitment is the entryway into joy, peace, and a vibrant life-giving faith and relationship with Jesus Christ.
“If only” might be the saddest, most pathetic, hopeless phrase in our entire vocabulary. They are words that lock us in the past and undermine, if not downright negate, our future. They put us on a fast track to disappointment and regret and often bitterness. A much healthier, empowering, more faith-based choice of words is “since…therefore” or “because… therefore”.
Good enough like try or tried is either an excuse for failure or for an effort less than our best. Good enough never brings us any deep satisfaction or joy – only our best does that. Perhaps this is why God only wants our best!
“Should have” like “if only” is pretty much a straight shot to frustration, guilt or regret. Saying I should have done something may sound good, but we can not change the past. It is far better and healthier to use the phrase, “next time” or “if I get the chance again I will”.
Last but not least is “yes but”. This typically reveals we have not listened to what another person has just said. We are more interested in making our own point. We are both discounting the other person and forgoing an opportunity to learn something new. Hopefully you are not saying “yes but” to the ideas shared above.
Grace and Peace, John
P.S. Next week I will be sharing some ways we can safely gather and also open at our Thrift Store!