Notes and News – 10/10/20

Some of the Challenges of Changing Times!

During a morning walk earlier this week I found myself reflecting upon a time back in February of 1991 when my running mentor and friend, Ted Root, and I decided on a Sunday after church, that we would meet together later that afternoon and go for a run. It was one of those February days up north when the weather takes a break from the winter freeze.  The temperature had risen into the mid 50s with northern Ohio gray, but it was the nicest day we had experienced in since early December. For the first time in at least two months we were running in just our shorts and our tee-shirts. We thoroughly enjoyed ourselves and as Ted described - it felt like we were young colts experiencing the joy of being released into the pasture for the first time and frolicking around in our new freedom. A cherished memory with a good friend.

Fast forward to a February day here in Florida this past winter with the temperature in the mid-50s. This time I am going for a walk. I’m wearing sweatpants, a sweatshirt, a windbreaker, gloves, a ski hat and I must talk myself into venturing into the frigid winter elements. The entire time I’m walking I find myself thinking maybe the summer 90-degree heat and humidity wasn’t so bad after all. When I get home, I triumphantly announce (at least to myself) how I have braved the frigid winter elements and brutal cold and survived! Quite a difference nearly 30 years can make!

Perhaps you chuckled as you read this. I know I have in recalling these moments. But there are changes that have been taking place in our society that are no laughing matter. How are we, as followers of Jesus Christ, to deal with these changes and the challenges they present.

I am thinking of the news reports late this week that white supremacist terrorists sought to kidnap the governor of Michigan. I applaud the Republican Legislature Leader who quickly and forcefully denounced these people and their alleged and foiled criminal actions. Like all they are presumed innocent until proven guilty. Having said that, it is also worth noting, the FBI seldom expends the efforts and resources it did on cases like this because they are dealing with innocent people. I also find it sickening that an elected county sheriff would seek to excuse their actions along the grounds of perhaps intending to make a citizens’ arrest of the sitting governor. Hopefully, the days of vigilantly justice such he was suggesting are behind us forever.

The question remains, what do we as Christians do?

1.      The first thing is to expect and demand our elected officials, at every level from local to national, to stand up to and condemn violence and hatred wherever it occurs and whoever commits it. Nothing less is acceptable – ever.

2.      The second thing is to expect and demand of ourselves the exact same thing. If we are not condemning violence and hatred everywhere then we are complicit – period, stop!

3.      When it comes to our own hearts it means opening that dark side to the healing light of grace and forgiveness. In our faith heritage, the process for this is called repentance and confession. I find it helpful to think of confession and repentance not in linear terms but as a spiral process. By that I mean, the more I confess the more I come to understand my need to repent (turn my heart and life to God). Likewise, the more I repent, the greater my awareness of my need to confess becomes. Through this process we experience healing and new life.

4.      Lastly, I believe we are called to commit our lives to making the words of the prophet Micah a foundational and guiding force everyday: “to do justice, and love kindness and to walk humbly with our God” (Micah 6:8).

The biblical term justice means to actively seek the well-being of others. You could also say doing justice is making sure others get nothing less than they deserve because they too are precious children of God. To love kindness is to be passionate about kindness, which is best understood as the natural result of doing justice. It is my observation that the deficit of kindness in our society as a whole today is far more extensive than our National Debt! It can and must begin to be erased by people like you and me being kind. To borrow from the saying of the late Senator Everitt Dirksen of Illinois, an act of kindness here and an act of kindness there and before you know it you have a lot of kindness. When we are doing justice and loving kindness the result can only be discovering we are walking humbly with our God.

I can hear somebody saying, sounds good but way too idealistic. Our world is too nasty for this kind of love to prevail. My response is our world is too nasty for anything but this kind of love to prevail. The love Micah is pointing to is the same love that the entire witness of the Bible is pointing to. It is the greatest power in our universe, and it beats at the center of God’s heart.

Grace and Peace, John

Our Sweatshirt Outreach Ministry is Just Around the Corner! 

We are fast approaching the time of year when we make sure every child at Manatee Elementary School has a sweatshirt for the colder winter months. I will be calling the school to get numbers this week. My guess is the number will be like in the past around 450. I will know more specifically after talking with my staff contact person.  I will also expect to have a firm cost of sweatshirts from Hanes.  Look for these in next week’s edition of Notes and News. I am excited as we prepare for this outreach ministry because I know of your faithful and generous support through the past years.

Notes and News – 10/03/20

Shocked but Not Surprised!

I am guessing you, like me, woke up Friday morning to the news our President and First Lady both tested positive for COVID-19. I was shocked as I suspect you were. We join many others when we say our prayers are for a speedy recovery for both of them as well as all the others who have been diagnosed: well-known and unknown, neighbor and stranger, citizen and refugee, and friend and enemy. This vicious virus brings fear and heartache along with the myriad of physical issues and problems it creates. It can attack both the arrogant and the innocent. Our good friend Tony Last tested positive earlier this week over in England (Gail did not). Please keep both Tony and Gail in your prayers for strength, peace and God’s healing touch.

Back to our President and First Lady. I was shocked but not surprised. The shock was if the most protected person on the planet can get COVID-19, then virtually anyone can. The scientific truth is, this virus makes no distinctions what so ever,  not caring if a person is democrat or republican, liberal or conservative, man or woman, young or old, white or black (or any other skin color),American or Iranian, Christian or atheist, or any of the other labels we use to point out the perceived differences between us.  Forgive my crudeness, but all this virus cares about is its next “meal” in order to perpetuate itself.

I say shocked but not surprised because of the cavalier (polite language, grossly irresponsible – not so polite) attitude of so many of our “leaders” who for whatever reason (political, economic, religious, etc.) decided to ignore the advice and warnings of the experts, front-line doctors and medical professionals. Can you imagine someone living in any coastal community during WWII, refusing to turn out their lights at night during the blackout periods because it was inconvenient, or it interfered with their evening reading, or they didn’t want anyone to infringe on their freedom to do what they wanted to do! I suspect the response would have started with outrage and escalated from there.

The two most recommended things we can do (and the two most abused as well) are to wear a mask and to practice social distancing. I cringe when I hear a so-called person of faith say “I don’t need to wear a mask. God will protect me.” That is NOT a statement of faith at all. Quite the contrary it is a self-centered expression of prideful arrogance. What the person is really saying is, “I am going to do what I want to do and I expect God to honor my actions.”  The overwhelming witness of the Bible is this is not something God does – God honors our actions when they reflect our obedience to God not visa-versa!

But perhaps, even more important, when I wear a mask and socially distance it gives me an opportunity to put into practice the Great Commandment, “Love one another as I have loved you.” I don’t wear a mask or practice social distancing to protect me from you. It’s just the opposite!  It’s to protect you from me, in case I have this virus and don’t know it. We are at our best, when we are intentionally putting into practice the great commandment to love one another.

Grace and Peace, John

Notes and News – 09/26/20

The Power of a Guiding Thought and a Grounding Prayer!

There are many ways to unleash the power of the Bible in your life. I want to focus on one of those ways - to have one or more special verses that you repeat to yourself over and over until it becomes a part of you. I like to call this a guiding thought.  What better source could there be than the Bible! A guiding thought can shape your life - give it special meaning and purpose. It can be an anchor in the storms of life and a source of strength. It can also be a light and motivation when facing difficult decisions or challenging situations.  For example, the late Supreme Court Justice “RBG” had a quote from the beginning of Deuteronomy 16:20 as a wall hanging in her office to remind her of her calling. The message of this text says “Justice, and only justice, you shall pursue”. (Other translations might be slightly different, but the message is the same – making justice the heart of the matter).

The idea of a guiding thought is rooted in the awareness that what we say to ourselves and the messages we repeat over and over have a powerful impact on the way we live and the quality of the lives we live.  No one is ever too old or too young to do this. But clearly the sooner we incorporate this into our daily lives the more positive impact it can have.  The unfortunate reality is too many have a “wealth” of negative, destructive thoughts that shape their lives far too much.

My guiding thought is found in the 12th chapter of Mark’s gospel when Jesus is asked what the first commandment of all is and he responds with “Hear O Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is one; you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind, and with all your strength. The second is this, you shall love your neighbor as yourself.”

I usually shorten it to “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your mind and with all your strength. And you shall love your neighbor as yourself.”

Another one of mine is from John 10: “I have come that you may have life in all its abundance”.

Yet another is from the 8th chapter of Romans, “If God is for us who can be against us…there is nothing in all of creation that can separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

These are just some of the passages that speak to my heart and I choose to make guiding thoughts. What matters is that you find one that illuminates your heart and make it a guiding thought. Here are a few you might consider from the Old Testament: Joshua 1:9; Joshua 24, 14-15; Psalm 23:1; Isaiah 40:31; Isaiah 43:1; Micah 6:8; Psalm 46:1-2; Psalm 46:10; and Habakkuk 3:17-18.  And then there is the New Testament – a source of many treasures. I invite you to find yours.

A Grounding Prayer is also important. This is a prayer you repeat at least 3 times each day – morning, noon and night. More is even better. It works just like a guiding thought. My recommendation is the Prayer of St. Francis which you can find below.  I invite you to join me for the remainder of 2020 to pray this prayer at least 3 times each and every day. Let’s see what happens!

Grace and Peace, John

Our Church Sign Has a New Look!

We replaced the old, discolored Lexan plastic which made it very difficult to read our messages with new, clear plexiglass.  Wow! What a difference this makes. One of the things we want all who pass to be able to see is our website and the invitation to our virtual service. Now they can! A special thanks to Jeff Bryden for his help and practical ideas.

I Invite You to Make This Prayer A Daily Habit

Lord, make me an instrument of Thy peace; Where there is hatred, let me sow love; Where there is injury, pardon; Where there is error, truth; Where there is doubt, faith; Where there is despair, hope; Where there is darkness, light; and Where there is sadness, joy.

O, Divine Master, Grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled, as to console; To be understood as to understand; To be loved as to love; For it is in giving that we receive; It is in pardoning that we are pardoned; And it is in dying to ourselves that we are born to eternal life.

Amen.

Notes and News – 09/19/20

What if Both are God’s Gifts!

Here are 4 experiences I have had in my ministry or read about recently. I think they are related in an important way. The first was in a hospital waiting room with a family whose daughter had been in a terrible automobile accident. A doctor came into the room and told the family he’d seen many brain injuries like their daughter’s and there was no hope.  (no bedside manor from this doctor!) The mother thanked him but told him after much prayer they were entrusting their daughter future to God. After 3 months and many prayers from all over the country their daughter came out of her coma and began a long road to recovery. Perhaps her biggest hurdle was overcoming the physical problems caused by the doctors’ order to stop physical therapy. A year later she enrolled as a freshman at a local university and went on to graduate.

The second experience was several years ago when a granddaughter asked me if I thought the biblical account of creation should be included as an alternative in the high school curriculum to the scientific theory of evolution.  I told her no I did not, because I thought, based upon my study and experience as a pastor that the stories of Creation in Genesis 1 and 2 were never intended to be scientific and their message was far too important to be lost in the midst of the predictable controversy that would create far more heat than light.

The third is from a brief TV encounter between a mask-less man at a big indoor event and a reporter. The man said he didn’t need a mask because God would keep him safe from COVID-19. And the fourth is from a self-proclaimed “no-masker” pastor from Idaho who was infected with COVID-19, along with his wife. Her case was mild. He’s in ICU with significant difficulty breathing but hoping to be able to return home to recuperate if his breathing can improve.

What I think all of these have in common is our struggle with science and faith. The overly simplistic approach is to choose one and reject the other. But this doesn’t pass the test of life’s experiences. The doctor above was all science and no faith. The no mask, “God will protect me” is a pseudo faith and rejection of science. The words of faith may be used but really the assumption is God will do what I want done. The success of this kind of approach in the biblical witness as well as today is miniscule.

Science and Faith are meant to complement each other not compete. Science works with data that is observable, measurable, repeatable, quantifiable and ultimately predictable. Thank goodness for the discoveries of science! Faith focuses on the realm of the intangible, unmeasurable, mysterious, and surprising. Thank goodness for the times that stir our souls and help us see and experience the gift of life in its fullness! Science asks the question “why” to discover the cause. Faith asks the question “why” to discover meaning. I am convinced both science and faith are God’s gifts to be embraced and enjoyed!

Grace and Peace, John

Notes and News – 09/05/20

As A Veteran and A Pastor I Must Speak Up

As a young officer in the Air Force I was assigned special duties about every 45 days or so until the time I became a Squadron Commander and was exempted from them. Most of these extra duties I have long since forgotten but 2 are forever emblazoned in my memory. My very first special duty, to inventory the Officers’ Club on Thanksgiving Day between the hours of 2am and 6am. Who could ever forget something like that! Thank goodness for the NCO I was teamed with because that meant at least 1 of us knew what he was and we were doing! 

The other was to be a Mortuary Affairs officer for a day. This involved presiding over the honor guard and flag folding ceremony for two different Air Force members who died on active duty. On two different occasions that day I had the sacred, humbling honor of presenting a folded flag to a grieving widow and family. As I knelt down, now almost 50 years ago, to present each flag I said the words that I believe have probably been repeated thousands of times, “On behalf of a grateful nation and our Commander-in-Chief, the President of the United Sates of America, I present you this flag as a symbol of our deep and abiding respect for the service of….”.  To be truthful, just recalling those words brings tears to my eyes.  All over again I can see the heartbreak in the eyes of the widows and hear once more the sobs of the family gathered. Both times it took all the composure and will I could muster to say those words in a heartfelt, dignified way while keeping the halting, choking presence of my own tears at bay.

That is why as a veteran I am utterly outraged and disgusted by our President’s comments about fallen heroes and wounded warriors as revealed to us and confirmed multiple times by various sources and news outlets including Fox News. Of course, these words will be denied, and the spin doctors are already at work. But the simple reality is everything points to their veracity. And as a veteran I find that makes our present President unfit for office. Please do not be fooled. I am NOT making a political statement. I am making a moral statement! It matters not whether you are a Republican, Democrat or Independent, we can ill-afford to do anything less than expect and demand of our President the basic decency of respecting all people and most certainly those who have chosen the life of serving our country, even when it means making the ultimate sacrifice.

As a pastor, I see in our President, a pathetic and small individual whose words and actions reveal he views this gift of life only in terms of what will benefit him. Sadly, he has chosen a life and values that are a contradiction and repudiation of everything our Lord teaches and values – loving one another, including enemies, serving one another, lifting one another up, being willing to sacrifice, a commitment to the forgotten, “unimportant”, rejected broken people whose lives have been lived on the wrong side of the power curve, treating one another with respect and dignity to name a few. Or in its abbreviated form: to give and love in life. And aren’t these the moments we are truly at our best and feel most connected to God!

So perhaps the question is, can our President be forgiven? The answer is Yes and No. Yes, most certainly he can be forgiven. The no, however, is rooted in the reality that to this point, by all accounts, he has never shown the slightest desire to seek forgiveness. Forgiveness is God’s gracious gift to any of us, but unless we have some awareness of our deep need for forgiveness, the gift is remains unreceived. And that is truly tragic. The only thing that is more tragic is when we offer a cheap imitation of forgiveness that tries to whitewash the offence and pretend all is okay when it is not.  It is more tragic because it continues the cycle of offensive, hurtful behavior and gets in the way of healing and redemption.

So, what do I do, when as a veteran on a scale of 1-10 my anger and outrage is about a 25. Do I have a responsibility to forgive the President. No. My responsibility at this time, is to be open to God’s gift of forgiveness to cleanse my heart of the anger and outrage along with the bitterness and resentment they breed and in their place, seek to follow the way of our Lord, no matter how imperfect that may be. I can do this trusting our Lord will lead me to the place I am supposed to be with regard to all of this.

Grace and Peace, John

Notes and News – 08/28/20

The Most Requested Sermon Text of My Ministry!

Over the past 45 years whenever I have asked a congregation what passages they would like me to preach on, one passage has consistently remained at the top of the list. It is, perhaps, the passage people struggle with the most.  Can you guess which it is? Of course there are many difficult passages in the Bible. Passages that require us to read them with far more thought and introspection than if we were simply reading a recipe from a cookbook. But it is this passage which was always at the top of the list: Mathew 7:1-5, Judge not, lest you be judged!

This passage seems to run 180 degrees in the opposite direction of what many, many very good and fine people, people just like you and me, do numerous times every day. And if that weren’t enough of a problem we only need to read a few verses further in chapter 7 verses 15- 20 when Jesus himself is telling us to beware of false prophets and how we will know then by the fruits of their lives (their observable actions and consequences of those actions). Is Jesus teaching one thing one moment and another contradictory thing later? And our job is to simply accept this trusting in God. (The old “ours is not to reason why, ours is but to do or die” argument. Or is the teaching on judging just an impossible one to uphold that points out our universal need for God’s forgiveness!

I want to suggest there is a far better way to understand these scriptures than either of the above alternatives. Life requires we make judgements. Every time we make a decision, we are making a judgement! For we Christians, the most consequential and important decision of our lives, to surrender our hearts to Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior involves making a judgment! Don’t be fooled by a superficial, non-thinking reading of the text.  What Jesus is talking about is whenever we judge ourselves, to be better than others, superior to others, more important or valued than others. This is especially true when we forget that there is much of another’s heart we cannot see. Then our judgements become acts of nothing more than self-righteous piety, something the Pharisees of Jesus’ day were infamous for!

But we are not freed from the requirement to make judgments in life.  One of the insidious cop-outs of our day is when Christians puff up their chests and proclaim themselves free of making judgments in moments that call for us to judge, not in terms of being better than, but in terms of what is faithful to the call and command of Christ in our lives. The teaching on false prophets drives this point home. Actions reveal the character of a person’s heart. This is what Christ means when he says of false prophets, “you will now them by their fruits”.  In all likelihood we will never know the deeper wounds and scars that only God knows of a person’s heart, but we can see the character of their hearts by their actions. This does not make us better than another but neither does it free us from our responsibility to speak the truth in love.  False prophets cannot be ignored. If we do, we do so at great peril.

One of the great tragedies of our time is how divided and partisan we have become. It is as though we have forgotten that our country is the United States of America and that unity has much to do with what we have to offer each other and our world. We have many issues to address that require new ideas and cooperation. We will never succeed in doing this if we are so busy judging how much better we are than the other side, be it republican or democrat. We cannot pretend or wish our problems away. We cannot abide by the name calling, no matter which side it comes from. We cannot afford the lies and misinformation that have tragically become too common place and threaten the very fabric of both community and country. We can not seek refuge in the comfortable phrase that all lives matter until we are committed without reservation to making the reality that every life matters, - black, brown, yellow, red and white, as much a part of life as our most sacred beliefs. And above all we cannot keep our faith which calls us to do justice (the biblical meaning is to respect and seek the well-being of all), to love kindness, and walk humbly with our God in the nice safe confines of friends and church when there is so much hurt, fear and brokenness in our land and in our world. We must demand this and settle for nothing less.

Grace and Peace, John

An Update on Our Outreach Ministry!

Even though our church building is pretty well closed up, our church most certainly is not closed. Out outreach ministries continue and are needed more now than ever before.  Here is a quick update:

Elementary School Support:

Because of you and are partnership with Thrivent Financial (Thank you Cindy Cook) we were able to furnish Manatee Elementary School to date with over 50 backpacks, over 110 boxes of 24 crayons per box, over 400 pencils, 36 packages of wide-ruled notebook paper, scissors for 25 kindergarten children and glue-sticks, and hand sanitizer. You are making a positive difference in the lives of some of the poorest families in Manatee County. You are helping offer some hope in difficult times and an example of the love of Christ in a mean-spirited, callus world. Thank you.

Homeless Outreach Ministry:

Simply put everyone who is involved with and supporting this outreach ministry is offering a tangible ray of love and hope to our homeless friends here in Palmetto who have been pretty well beaten down by life. Thank you.

East Coast Head Start Migrant Center

Later this week I believe Joan will be taking a wide variety of “goods and goodies” to the migrant center head start program. Head Start feeds approximately 61 children, ages newborn to 5 years old, breakfast and lunch while their parents work in the fields.  We have been involved in this ministry for over 2 years and it is very special.

If you haven’t yet made a contribution or you would like to continue, please just mark you check in the memo line to designate where and how much you would like to give to these 3 outreach ministries.

Once again, I remind each of us that our support of any or all three of these outreach ministries makes a big impact on the people who are so often ignored or forgotten. Thank you for your faithful support, past, present and future.

Notes and News – 08/22/20

An Eye-Catching Article and a Long-time Memory!

As I was going through and clearing out my daily email inbox, I came across a title that saved this message from the delete button. The title that grabbed my attention was, 6 Words Invented in the Age of the Smartphone. Of the 6, 4 really caused me to think. The first is Swipe Left/Right. SwipeRight means you’re accepted, you made the cut, you’re considered worthwhile. As you might guess, Swipe Left means just the opposite – you don’t count, get lost, or to quote a terrible phrase that needs t be stricken from our vocabulary but sadly is used all to often, you’re a loser.

The next word I suspect all of us have heard – selfie. We were already pretty self-absorbed before the advent of smartphones. Now I realize the term stands for a picture you take of yourself, but I think it also represents a spreading sense that life is all about me and if that it is as true as I suspect it is, it is tragic. There are too many who think that life is all about them, what they want, what they are doing or desire etc. The third and fourth words are related. They both came about by putting the prefix “un” in front of otherwise very positive words. The 2 are, unlike and unfriend.

In spite of my protest I suspect these are words that are here to stay. And that leads me to my memory from many years ago. When our oldest son was about 15 or so months old we were living outside of Philadelphia in Downingtown PA. For the year we lived in that area we were close to my sister and her husband, Dave who was finishing up the final year of an orthopedic residency at Temple. Dave and Bonnie would come over to our apartment in Downingtown to visit and play with our son, Jay. The play he (and I suspect Dave also) enjoyed the most was chasing each other around the yard between the buildings. There was always lots of noise and laughter in these times and shear delight as little stubby legged Jay would chase his uncle Dave around – almost always catching him but never quite. I think Jay would have done this for hours on end if given the chance. After a bit we would take a break and go back inside. After a few minutes when the adults were catching our breath, Dave from running around and the rest of us from laughing, Jay would come up to Dave and tug on his leg and say “Dit-Dit”. He couldn’t yet say Dave, but he could say “Dit-Dit”. Uncle Dave for many years after that was affectionately referred to as Uncle “Dit-Dit”. And as you may have guessed “Dit-Dit” was a plea to come out and play some more. Most of the time Dave would pick him up and continue to play in some form that wasn’t quite as taxing, but Jay would love just as much. More than once our son simply conked out in his uncle’s arms – you know how a toddler can be alert and active one moment and then in the san of a finger he or she is out like a light.

Perhaps you have seen the relationship between these two experiences. It is that our words matter. They make a huge impact. Language and communication experts teach that our non-verbal communications carry 93% of every message and that our words account for the remaining 7% of the message. I understand the wisdom and truth of this break down. But the 7% that our words carry is still very important.  I have heard too many accounts from people over the years where words spoken to them have shaped their lives for years to come. In too many instances the words were negative, “You’ll never amount to anything”, “You’re nothing but a trouble maker”, “You’re ugly”, “You’re a loser”, “Who do you think you are”, “Nobody will ever love you”, “You’re lazy and good for nothing”. There have also been questions with the same soul piercing impact, “Who do you think you are?”, “Why would anyone want you?”, “How could you?”. The list of statements and questions could go on and on.

Sadly, we are in for a barrage of negativity and fear mongering in the coming months.

Here is an antidote for what is about to descend upon us. It comes from the heart of the Old Testament in the beginning of the 43rd chapter of the Prophet Isaiah:

 Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through the fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you. For I am the Lord your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior.

Grace and Peace, John

Thank You for Your Faithful Support!

Although many churches find themselves in the midst of a financial crisis. (Did you know the word crisis has its origins in Greek culture during the time of Hippocrates and was first used in medicine. The term crisis was originally used to describe that time when a sick patient could either live or die!). While finances continue to remain tight, we are most certainly NOT AMONG those in a crisis. The reason is your faithful support in these challenging times. Based upon your faithfulness and generosity in the past I am not surprised but I am deeply appreciative. Thank yo

Notes and News– 08/15/20

Making Important Decisions and Healthy Conflict Resolution!

It’s amazing how closely related making important decisions and bringing conflict to a healthy resolution are. I would like to suggest that the way we make decisions can reveal a great deal about how we deal with conflict. Some people make decisions impulsively. They go with how they are feeling at the time or perhaps the strongest feeling they have in the moment. There are occasions when impulsive decisions turn out to be good ones, but more often than not they lead to frustration, regret and maybe even guilt. These folks tend to handle conflict in the same way. They go with their gut, sometimes consciously but more often than not reactively. If they are feeling angry, they come on like gangbusters – its their way and that is the only valid option. End of story. Case closed. Conflict settled. The only trouble is it is not settled – the conflict just goes underground where it becomes more dangerous, destructive and poisonous to a relationship.

However, anger is not the only feeling. It can be fear, insecurity, worry, anxiety, sadness or a host of other feelings that are just as real as anger but may not have the same fire or passion. In these cases, retreat is often viewed as the way to settle conflict or to avoid making a decision. It is just buried. Trouble is it is not dead and buried but just buried and resentment and bitterness often grow and flourish when an issue is “buried”. One of the most dangerous things we can do is pretending to take the “high road” in a conflict when in fact we are simply burying the issue for the time being. Ultimately, burying an issue feeds a toxic poison in the heart and spirit that can seriously damage and even destroy a relationship. Likewise, avoiding making decisions, sooner or later catches up to us and when it does it is not a pretty sight. Usually there are deep and profound regrets, perhaps even disillusionment and aching sorrow.

At the other end of the spectrum is the Detective Joe Friday approach, “the facts ma’am, just the facts”. In place of the heat of emotion we find the cold, calculations of logic. The bottom line and/or end result is what matters – nothing else. If too much emotion makes the impulsive approach to decision making dangerous, the absence of emotion makes this approach equally dangerous. Our history is filled with examples of needless and tragic suffering that have been inflicted upon people because the human element was left out of the decision-making process. Sadly, the same can be said of families. Unfortunately, in families the damage is can be compounded because a false moral judgment is often used to support the “facts”. In conflict resolution, when this fact only, approach is used logic too easily becomes a club to validate one side’s position.

There is an alternative. I find it applies to both important decisions and conflict. When I am at my best, I use it faithfully, however, I must also candidly admit, there are also times I seem to forget it completely. Having said that, I prayerfully strive to make it a strong habit.

1.      Step back and identify the issue to be resolved or situation to be decided. One of the great truths I learned early in my ministry is this: what at first seems to be the issue is rarely, if ever, the real issue. Both head and heart are needed to identify the real issue.

2.      Pray about the real issue or situation. I am NOT talking about some empty pious pronouncement like “God show me which way to go or what to do”. Rather I am talking about lifting the situation or conflict before God as completely and honestly as you know how to and asking God to open your heart to God’s will on the matter. Then be quiet and listen and be open to what you will hear. God will most certainly speak to you. Probably not in a voice like we hear with one another in conversation. And probably not in the time frame you expect. But God will speak to you. Maybe it will be an idea that comes to you “out of the blue” (I suspect one of God’s favorites). Maybe it will be a word or phrase you keep thinking of. Maybe it will be a “image” of a time from your past. I think there are virtually limitless ways God can speak to us. Our job is to be faithfully listening and to be patient. Remember waiting, and especially waiting on God is a great virtue in the message of our scriptures.

3.      Let God’s message to you begin to re-shape your thinking and feeling on the matter, whether it is a decision to be made or a conflict to be resolved. Live with it, listen to it, write it down, read it, embrace it, and finally act on it.

When I follow this process, I find I make better decisions and conflicts are resolved in healthy ways. I think you will find it to be so as well.

Grace and Peace, John

Notes and News – 08/08/20

I Couldn’t Believe What I Was Seeing!

This morning I was heading to the church to meet with a contractor. While driving east on Manatee Avenue I noticed about 2 1/2 blocks ahead of me was a pickup truck pulling out from a side road and racing across the traffic to get into the far lane of traffic heading eastbound on Manatee Avenue just like I was.  Two things caught my attention. The first was how fast he was moving. The second was he was pulling a trailer. As I got about a block closer, the red brake lights of the vehicles in front of me started to come on and traffic slowed almost to a standstill. I soon knew why. There on the edge of the far-right lane was the truck pulled up on the grass and behind it was the trailer being used to carry a 12-14-foot boat which had been flipped over. In his impatience to cross the road and get where he wanted to go, he had jackknifed the trailer while at the same time putting himself and others at considerable risk.  And I suspect the boat and trailer were both damaged in some way. 

As I drove past the scene of this accident, he was getting out of the truck to survey the damage and try to figure out what to do.  I remember thinking to myself, he just made his day a lot worse. I wondered what was so important or urgent to cause him to do something so reckless and dangerous. Traffic was pretty light behind me. Had he waited a literally a minute or two, his day would have gone a lot better. I am reasonably sure he reached his destination much later than he originally hoped. I’ll no doubt never know what seemed so important or urgent to him.  However, I am pretty confident of this – it probably was not nearly as important or urgent as he thought. It simply seldom is.

There is an important lesson here for all of us.  I think it is safe to say we are a people that do not like the idea of waiting. You could even say in our society the word “wait” or the idea of having to wait is something we frown upon and resist if at all possible.

A word of personal confession is in order here. As many of you know Cinda and I had COVID-19 test done back on Friday, July 10th. First a week passed and no results, then 2 and then 3. Then on Wednesday Cinda got her negative result back and suggested I look for mine as well. Just 2 days shy of 4 weeks and Cinda finally got her “results”. Well I look for mine and none were to be found. Strange I thought since I was tested about 45 seconds after she was. Then I got a message that my results were ready and would be posted on Thursday the 6th. Thursday came and went and still no results. Let me say I was a bit more than a little bit irritated. I had to wait until Friday and hope that just maybe after 4 weeks they would finally be there. They were and they were negative also. I was irritated that I had to wait longer. I’m sure I am not alone. We are people who do not like to wait.

It’s interesting that waiting in the Bible is not a negative term at all.  Many times, you will read of people being told to wait on the Lord. Waiting is a virtue according to the biblical witness. Waiting and trusting are inseparably linked.  Waiting helps foster gratitude, patience, perspective, and faith.  Waiting is a key component of character. And waiting is indispensable when it comes to our relationship with God. Perhaps we struggle with waiting because it means giving up control and trying to orchestrate the way we think our lives should play out.  The good news is when we give up control God takes over. And that is always in our best interest.  It’s always well worth the wait!

Grace and Peace, John

Notes and News – 08/01/20

I Suspect This Has Happened to You Also

This past week I had an experience that I have had before, and I suspect you have as well.  It can be especially frustrating and exasperating. I was looking for something and couldn’t find it. I just knew I put it in a good, sensible place. The trouble was that good sensible place wasn’t where I thought it was. It was a small piece to a camera that I am trying out at the church. I couldn’t imagine in my wildest dreams that I had been so careless as to throw it out. I knew it was important and so I started looking in the most logical places. First I looked everywhere throughout my office at the church and I do mean everywhere. I couldn’t find it the first time I looked or the second a day later or the third a day later still. If this reminds you a bit about insanity – doing the same thing over and over expecting a different result – it is perfectly justifiable to draw that conclusion. The thought passed through my mind after the third futile attempt.

But I didn’t stop there. I looked in the sound booth as many different times as I did in my office only here I added the delusion that maybe I hid it in some clever place so it would get lost! Still no luck. I also looked through my home office multiple times wracking my brains where in the world this small but necessary piece for the camera might be. Still I came up empty handed here as well.

I went into the church this afternoon to look for a fourth and what I promised myself would be the last time (unless I convinced myself that repeating this exercise in futility warranted yet another try - which I have certainly done in the past).  Still no luck. I was getting ready to embark on the embarrassing, inconvenient and sometimes headache filled process of ordering a replacement part as I walked back into my office at the church for what I assumed would be the last time. As I walked through the door I looked down at the bag I use to carry my laptop computer and its accessories….

Then it hit me out of the blue. I’ve discovered that moments like this happen often in situations like this and I have come to understand them as very often a prompting of God’s Spirit. I eagerly unzipped the bag thinking this would have been a very good place to put this part.  And there it was, looking up at me as if it had eyes. Frustration gone. No part ordering stress. A much better night’s sleep tonight.  Perhaps best of all I was able to try something for the first time with the camera and it worked pretty well.

I share this with you because things like this can happen far too often. Sometimes its about something we have misplaced or “lost” and other times it can be because we feel lost, the things we have come to rely or depend on have gotten jumbled up.

As I reflect on this my breakthrough came when I had given up trying to do it my way. Letting go and letting God is an incredibly important and valuable lesson in life. It is easy to say but far more challenging to practice. But oh how worth it it is! 

I find turning to the Bible can often help me to let go and let God.  Here are some of the passages I love to let soak into my spirit which quiet me and open me up for those out of the blue moments: Psalm 4, Psalm 23, Provers 3:1-12, especially 5-8, Isaiah 40:31, Isaiah 43:1-3, especially verse 1, Isaiah 43:25.  There are plenty more in the Old Testament and of course there are many, many in the New Testament.  The ones I shared are some favorites that came to me almost without thinking.  You may well have your own and that is fine. The important thing is to embrace them and let them slow you down and center you so you can better let go and let God.

Grace and Peace, John